The Secret of Ella and Micha Chapter 5

MichaT present she is, the girl I purposed to love. Its visible in her green eye that shes clingting dispatch-key on. She was un demiseingly weird a equivalent(p) that, the speed, the danger always got her own engine burning. Then I countenance to slow drop and all the apprise dissolves. She puts on her seat rap and cardiac murmurs some intimacy about the Ella I know being g integrity forever, precisely Im calling her out. I have big plans to bring my best booster unit dressing, whether she likes it or non.Shes wearing a concise skirt and tank vellicate thats tight nice to show off her curves. Its driving me sickish that I cant worry her.What witnessed to the plowout? she asks as we drive by the spot we put on to park at during secondary town cruising. It opines like you cant nevertheless dispatch the road up to the cove allmore.You can if you walk or have four-wheeled drive and ramp the hill. The twineout is blocked off by a outstanding fence so that no gondolas can reach the outrage road that leads to a secluded argona near the lake. They blocked it off after they busted a bunch of people for drug and alcoholic beverage possession.Anyone I know? she inquires, feigning indifference.I thrum my fingers on egest of the steering wheel. Yeah, youre sitting next to one of them. But mine was clean now for alcohol.Her friend gasps in the dressingseat and I catch Ella sneaking(a)ly rolling her eyes.Whatd you get? she asks nonchalantly.Probation and anger counseling classes. I return her indifference.Her proposition turns toward me. kindle management classes?I also punched Grantford Davis in the face, I explain. Pretty hard. Broke his nestle and everything.Her friend gasps again and I winder how Ella could be friends with her. She bes like a naive princess.Ella studies me acutely with her beautiful eyes that always give past what shes unfeignedly thinking. wherefore did you punch him?I think you know why. I carry her gaze forcefully.I asked him to drive me to the b liberatege, Micha, she joints it like it strangles her. It wasnt his fault. He was just doing it as a favor.He should have never leave you there alone. I throw away the blinker on, making a turn down a dirt road that leads into a field of tall, dry grass. Not in that condition. You could b arly think straight. In fact, do you even remember anything about that iniquity?She fiddles with a band of brace allows on her wrists. Im non sure.Are you non sure? I accuse. Or do you not neediness to admit it?She dineros to open her mouth, merely then clamps her lips shut, and turns toward the window, dismissing me and the conversation.EllaThe night I went to the bridge, I had been in a weird funk the entire day. My milliampere died a few weeks earlier and I couldnt seem to get rid of this vile feeling in my chest and I deprivationed it to go away. Badly. So I took drastic measures and unflinching to walk in my beats foot locomote for a night.My mom wasnt awful. She had her tidy moments, scarce had a lot of bad ones too. When she was up, she was enceinte a lot of fun. At least thats what I thought when I was young. However, when I got older, there was a painful realization that it wasnt normal to go on huge shopping sprees, take off in the midriff of the night for a road offset, pretend she could flyBut the night on the bridge wasnt the worst night Id ever experienced. It was just the live push to my rapid decline toward the loss of bear all everywhere my living.Ella, where are you? Michas voice snaps me out of my own head. You were dazing off on me there.Were parked in forward of Gradys single-wide trailer located in a field, near a junkyard and an abandoned apartment complex. I unbuckle my seatbelt, climb out of the car, and flip the seat forward to permit Lila out.No thanks. She shakes her head, cowering back in the seat. I think Ill wait in here.Youre much fail-safer inside. Micha points to a cru mbling shack in the middle of the field. Thats a crack house over there and bank me, if they see you sitting in here, by yourself, theyre deviation to come over and harass you.Michas messing with her, that I let him be because this place isnt that safe of a spot.Her face pinches and she scrambles out of the car. Who is this persons house were at? Its not a drug dealer, is it?No, its just an old friend. I trade a secret watch with Micha and feelings rush by dint of me like the sun and the wind. Grady was once Michas stepfather. His fix and Grady were married for a few years and most of our happy puerility memories consist of him, camping, fishing, working on cars. Between the ages of eight and nine flavour was solid, not broken to pieces.I meet Micha or so the front of the car and when he takes my hand, I dont object. Being here is like traveling through and through time and it hurts to know that the man who showed me that life can be good is dying.Lila tugs the tail of her dress down self-consciously. Are you sure Im okay going in here?Relax, I tell her as we reach the feeble front porch. Grady is a good guy, he just likes living an unmaterialistic lifestyle. He chooses to live in a place like this.She forces a sieve smile. Alright, Im relaxing.Micha squeezes my hand and then knocks on the door. A few knocks later and we let ourselves in. Its like I remember, and it makes me smile because its comforting. Grady was a big traveler when he was younger and his walls map his destinations petite nesting dolls from his trip to Russia on a gnomish bookshelf, a painted Bokota mask from Africa hooked to the wall, a large chicha from Nepal sitting on a small fold up table. It overwhelms me and tugs at my memories.The trailer is small with a narrow kitchen connected to a encase in living room and the three of us some ingest up the space.Micha slides his hand up my arm and draws me to him. Are you going to be okay?I nod, forcing the tears away. Micha kisse s my temple and I dont retreat this time, allowing myself one small moment.Itll be okay, Micha reckons. And Im here for you.Times up.Where is he? I take a deep breath, move away from Micha, and smother the old Ella away. He points over my shoulder. I turn around and my heart knock offs to my stomach. The medium build, tall man, with impertinent blue eyes and a head full of hair, has shifted into a frail, emaciated figure, with sunken eyes and his head shaved. His plaid jacket drowns his form and the belt around his jeans has holes added to it.I hesitate to hug him. How are you? Are you okay?Im always okay. You know that. Not even a little crabby person can bring me down. He smiles and its just as bright as it was. Using his cane, he hobbles toward me. I meet him halfway, in front of the shattered leather dallier and give him a gentle hug, afraid I might break him.How have you been, my little Ella May? He steps back to take a look at me. You look different.I self-consciously t ouch my hair. I changed my looks a little. Thought I could use a change or two.He shakes his head contemplatively. No, its not that. Theres something else. You seem sad.Im fine, I deny and not very well. I feel great.He offers me a tolerant smile. Youve never been a good liar, you know that. I always knew it was you who broke the vase.From behind me, Micha nods concurring. Its her eyes. They show way too much. Although she thinks differently.If you knew I broke the vase, I say, then why didnt you call me out on it?Grady laughs and exchanges a look with Micha. Because the elaborate story you made up won my heart over, I adventure. Besides, it was just a vase.The tension resolves, except with Lila who looks like she doesnt know what to do with herself. She dawdles near the door, fidgeting with her watch and her hair as she glances around the snug trailer.Grady, this is Lila, I introduce, motioning her to come closer. She was my college roommate.Lila steps forward and gives him a smal l wave. Its nice to meet you.Same here. Grady nods his head welcomingly and then arches his eyebrows at me. So college? Thats where you ran off to.Im sorry I didnt tell you when I called, I apologize. I just pauperisationed a break. From everything.Im not going to lie and say it didnt hurt a little. He rests his weight on the cane, and his arms and legs look too thin to be moving. Youre like a daughter to me and I thought you trusted me enough to come to me if you were going through something.His eyes dart to Micha and I wonder if hes told Grady about that night eight months ago on the bridge.I need to make a phone call. Micha holds up his phone as he backs for the door. Lila, why dont you come outside with me?Lila lief obliges and the door swings shut behind them, rocking the house.Grady col batses into the recliner, sighing with relief. We need to talk.Preparing myself for a lecture, I drop into the concaved sofa across from him. Im in trouble, arent I?Do you think you need to be in trouble? He props his cane against the cocoa table.I pull a throw pillow on my lap and slump back into the couch. I dont know. Its hard to tell whats right and whats disparage anymore or whats up and whats down even.He rocks in the recliner. Youve always had a good grasp on whats right and wrong. You just have a hard time admitting that some time you choose the wrong.I know that. I gesture at myself. Thats why I changed into an Ella who doesnt do any wrong and who can march on obligate of her life.Thats not what this is. This is you running from life and you cant control everything. Even if you want to. His words send a shudder through my spine.I pluck at a loose soak up on the pillow. Did Micha tell you about the night before I left wing hand did he tell you what happened what I did?He presses his cracked lips together. He did.So then you understand why I ran away. If I dont change, then Ill turn out like her Ill turn out just like my mother, I admit aloud for the f irst time and a weight lifts from my chest, scarcely falls right back on it, seeming ten times heavier. Ill lose control.He hunches forward with a sad expression on his exhausted face. You know I knew your mother really well.But merely because you always had to come fix everything after she had one of her episodes.Sweetie, youre not her. Your mother was sick she had a mental illness.Bipolar Disorder is hereditary, I say quietly. There is a higher chance that I have it just because she had it.But it doesnt mean you will. With unsteady legs, he pushes up from the chair and sits down next to me on the sofa. I think youre so afraid that youll end up like your mom that youre hiding who you really are, but you cant control everything no one can.But I can try, I mutter and sit up, tossing the pillow off my lap. You remember what I was like. All the low-down I did. The stupid, irresponsible crap. I was a wreck waiting to happen and that night proved it. I almost I I almost killed mysel f.No, you didnt. I heard the story and you would have never gone through with it, he says confidently. You were just trying to sort through some stuff. You put away are.No, I was going to do it, I tell him, but its a lie. My mind may have been hindered, but I remember enough to know that when I climbed on top of that bridge, I was going to jump.He shakes his head. Then you dont remember what happened afterward with Micha.Yeah, I do. I take a faltering breath. I kissed him and then left him on the bridge. Then I went home, packed up my stuff, and ran away.No, something else happened that night. His forehead scrunches. Micha took you somewhere else. At least thats what he told me.I scratch at my wrist, trying to recollect, but the events of that day are hazy. I dont remember this at all.From what I understand you were out of it and more or less upset. Those two are not a good combination. Trust me, Ive been there. His fingers try on his cane. Micha saved you from jumping, but there s more to it than that.When you say youve been there, what do you mean exactly?I mean, Ive been at the place where it seems like the tho way left is down.I sift through his words. You know, I came here to see if youre okay, and someways all weve talked about is me.And thats exactly what I need, he says. Im sick and well-worn of everyone wanting to talk about my death.I open my mouth, but the front door squeaks open. I expect Micha, but a middle-aged charr in black sweat pants and a white island of Jersey walks in. Her bleached hair is woven into a braid and shes carrying a large black handle.She grins at Grady as she shuts the door. Youre being bad again. You know youre not supposed to get out of bed.Grady rolls his eyes, but his face lights up. Yep, Ive been bad. I scene youll have to punish me.I try to ignore their disturbing comments the best that I can, but its ridiculously awkward.Ella, this is Amy. His serious demeanor alleviates as he says her name.I stand up from the c ouch to shake work force with Amy, noticing theres no ring on her finger. Are you his nurse?Grady starts to balance to his feet and she moves to help him, but he waves her off. I got this. Im not crippled yet. She sighs and moves back. Yes, Im his nurse and Im supposed to be taking care of him, but hes a stubborn man and refuses to let me do my job properly.He growls and then chuckles. Using his cane, he heads toward the hall, his feet drag along the orange shaggy carpet. Ella, can you stop by tomorrow? I want to talk to you some more.Okay, Ill come back, I compact as he vanishes down the hall. I turn to the nurse. How bad is he?She drops the bag on the counter and unzips it. What did he tell you?That he has cancer, I tell her as she takes out some baggies from the bag. But thats all. He doesnt like to open up about himself.Reaching into her bag, she extracts a handful of prescription drug bottles. No, he doesnt, does he? She shakes a bottle filled with clear liquid. He has stage four bone cancer.I nearly fall to the floor. pose four, but then that means thatIt means that he has a hard, short road ahead of him, she says frankly. Youre Ella Daniels, right? And your father is Raymond Daniels?My fingers grasp the fabric of the recliner like its a lifeline. Yeah, why?No reason, she says with a shrug. Grady just duologue about you sometimes.But you know my father, I state warily.She zips up her bag and shuffles to the kitchen sink with the medication. I was the nurse on call the night he was run over.Because he was drunk out of his mind and decided to propel his bike in the middle of the highway. So you take care of Grady, here at his home?She turns on the faucet and fills up a crank of water. Im the home nurse he hired after he decided he didnt want to spend his last months in a hospital bed.He only has months left? I need to regain control of the spiraling situation. I stumble for the door. Tell Grady Ill see him tomorrow.I trip down the steps and nearly e at dirt. Luckily Micha is at the bottom and he drops his phone to catch me.He steadies me to my feet, his fingers digging into my hips as he looks me over with concern. Okay, what happened?Hes dying, I whisper, staring out at the dry field. Hes really dying.I know. Micha holds onto me forcefully, the tips of his fingers touching my bare skin. I told you this before we came over here.My lungs ensnare oxygen. I thought when you said it well, I dont know what I thought, but not this. I wave my hand at the door without face at it. Not a nurse. Not a few months left.His hands move around to my back and he enfolds me against his chest. I rest my head against him, breathing in his comforting scent. I start to ask him what happened that night, but my fear of the truth shushes me. What if its bad? What if it pushes me over the edge?What do you want to do today? he whispers. You name it and its done.I pull away, nictate back the tears. My gaze travels to Lila sitting in the car, reapplying her lip gloss in the rearview mirror. I have to take her to the shop and get her on the road.Against my protest, Micha cups the back of my head, and lures me against him. You could just ditch her.I slap his arm. Since when are you mean to girls?Since they keep complaining about the sheer drabness of the town, he says in a mocking cheerleader voice. And the bugs. Its ridiculous. Ten minutes out here with her and I want to lead her into the crack house over there and run.Thats not a crack house and you know it. I shake my head, forcing back a grin. And I know you better than that. Im sure you want to get in her pants.He pauses, and then slowly his hand explores my back and sneaks to my ass. He grabs it, and bows my body into his, firing a heat deep inside my core and heavy-handed a moan from my lips. For a second, I forget where I am.The only thing I want to get in is you, he murmurs in my hair.I regain control and shove back. Seriously? Youre going to start this? Here of all places .He swings a hand at the trailer. Why not? Because of Grady? Hed be happy to finally see us together. Hes been state for years that you and I will end up together.I secure my ears. I cant listen to this.In three long strides, hes in my face, nearly stepping on my toes. You think that just because you left, it would change how I feel? Well, guess what? Youre wrong. I cant help how I feel. Im still in Dont say it. I point a finger at him. Dont you dare, Micha Scott.He holds up his hands, mere(a) and derisive. Oh, now Im in trouble. You used my last name and everything.I glance at the car, checking if Lilas eavesdropping, then whirl back and hiss, You are in trouble. Ive been back for less than a day and everything Ive worked on concealing is falling apart because of you.His aqua eyes are a fierce blue. Good. Youre fucking crazy if you think that you can run off and change your identity. This unfeeling, preppy girl thing you got going on, he motions his hand at my tank top, white frilled skirt, and curly hair, is nothing but bull shit. You cant just change who you are on the outside and expect it to change who you are on the inside.Anger bubbles through me and I shove him. Youre wrong.His boots scuff the dirt as he catches his balance and smiles haughtily. Am I? Because right now that fire I love so much is burning pretty bright. He reaches for my cheek, to touch me entice me.Micha, this is who I have to be otherwise I cant breathe. enjoy just leave it alone. That damn fire might exist, but I want it gone. I spin my back to him, praying hell listen to me for once, because if he keeps it up, quite or later I wont be able to resist.But Micha has never backed down on a challenge in his life.